Why Serve?

Many of you who know me are aware that I did not, in fact, ever intend to serve a mission. I was really quite opposed the idea. When my sister was about to serve her mission my Stake President asked me, “Ally, are you going to serve a mission?” I said, “Nope.” Then he looked me in the eyes and said, “Sister Voss, what if the spirit of the Lord compels you to serve a mission?” I looked straight back and said, “I’m afraid I’d still say no, sir.” What changed? Well, it wasn’t a what, it was a who. Nothing changed, except me.

See, I went to BYU. And at BYU I had six lovely roommates, six wonderful Family Home Evening brothers, a Book of Mormon class, and a bishop who knew the spirit of Lord far better than I. One by one through the fall semester, my roommates felt compelled to serve missions. The only one holding strong with me was my fantastic roommate Meghan. Then January hit me and knocked me off my feet. I was seeing dozens of people submitting papers and receiving calls and heavens but it was completely overwhelming. I had been praying for over seven months at that point whether a mission would be right for me, and I kept getting the answer, it’s up to you, which was confirmed by my patriarchal blessing and point blank not helpful in the least. My Book of Mormon class talked about missions all too often and I had somehow coerced myself into taking a mission prep class so my tension and indecision as to whether to serve a mission were at an all-time high. February continued much the same, except by this point I had already gone to my bishop in tears at one point because of all the pressure I felt to serve a mission and a lack of knowledge whether it was right for me. His advice? To start my papers and see if I had a feeling whether that was the correct path. I said thanks but no thanks. Soon, though, my FHE brothers and two of my roommates were submitting mission papers and getting calls. I felt excited for them, but still when I thought of missions I felt unsure and overwhelmed.

In March something clicked. I’m not sure what, or if I could describe it, but I went directly to the bishop to start my papers. I didn’t think of it as an absolute. I thought of it as a “maybe”. So I had an option. I could decide to serve a mission. Or I could not. It was my choice. And what tipped the scales? To be honest, I think it was watching Jake, Ryan, Alex, Jacob, Maddie, and Kindra as they prepared to go serve. March turned into April and my papers, though technically begun, were untouched. I watched my FHE boys give blessings to us, enter the temple, and continue faith-building habits. I saw Kindra and Maddie finishing their mission preparations and heard them talk about their excitement to serve. And I realized, slowly, that I wasn’t the same person who I was at the beginning of this school year. I had grown, been stretched, and changed in such a way that though perhaps I wasn’t ready to serve in August, I was ready now.

I was still tentative; I certainly didn’t see a blazing bush or hear the voice of the Lord telling me to serve a mission. But while the thought of serving a mission had before been overwhelming, now I felt only a peace and excitement. I was going to serve a mission. I didn’t care where I would go or when I would go, because I knew why I was going. I was going, or rather I am going because I love this gospel and I want to share the joy it has given me with as many people as I possibly (or impossibly) can! God gave us a glorious earth with the tools and resources to learn, love, progress, and eventually return to live with Him. I have an opportunity to show the Lord my gratitude and devotion, and I am happy to take it. They say you have an eternity to prepare for your mission, and an eternity to reflect on it – but only two (or one and a half) years to live it. I’m ready to not only live it, but love it as well!

See you in a year and a half!

-Sister Ally Voss